Trust your path …

In today’s society it becomes easy to doubt who we are…where we are on this path of life…questioning if and where we belong. Striving to basically understand why we have been given the life we are living, including why we are granted specific privileges and opportunities while others are not. Or why others may have more than we have. Thinking this person has it easier than I do, or that person has had such a hard life, full of struggles. It becomes really easy to compare our lives to others in this way.

So, I ask myself what would happen if I just completely owned and accepted exactly who I am, what I’ve been given, and what I am doing, right here, right now? Sounds really easy, when reading, doesn’t it? But, deep down, it’s harder to accept.

No two people are the same and no two life paths are the same. We are all born into completely different circumstances, and all experience life in different ways. Unique in our own way…and we all were given our lives and our place for a reason. Given our paths to move forward on. Our strengths to help strengthen others. Our weaknesses to teach us to always remain humble. And our struggles to learn from. It’s our purpose in life.

We become less empowered when we doubt ourselves. Feeling inadequate, as if we’re not enough, will tear away at our souls…at our being. But, when you find yourself doing this, remind yourself that we don’t need to have it all figured out. Stand up to yourself. Own who you are. Be compassionate to yourself and to others. But more importantly, always love yourself and embrace this wonderful, crazy, happy, sometimes difficult and constantly changing journey! Trust and accept YOUR path, and remember, it’ll always lead you to Sunshine if you allow it!!

The adventures of dirt roads…

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I’m so lucky to be from a small town where everyone knows you. Where we greet strangers with a genuine smile and a “hello, how are you?”. But, one of the greatest things I find, next to being surrounded by water, would be the availability of untouched land….acres and acres of protected forests….thriving and strong. I love it when we’re forced to venture off a paved road and find ourselves bouncing and riding gravel and dirt covered paths. I have to admit, it’s really fun, as long as we’re not in my car, but my husband’s truck instead, lol. Hoping to not crack a windshield or gas tank, or break anything else underneath. It’s an adventure going where not many go. Always faced with a beautiful sight of God’s creation. Many say the best therapy is taking a drive on a dirt road….learning more about yourself than ever before….and I couldn’t agree more!!! Separated from the “real” world…just you and nature. Wow!!!
Even with all the holes, bumps, mud, and ditches…those roads still take us somewhere. Kinda like life, don’t you think?

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A butterfly’s beauty…

“A butterfly lights beside us, like a sunbeam… And for a brief moment it’s glory and beauty belong to our world… And then it flies on again, and although we wish it could have stayed, we are so thankful to have seen it at all.”. ~Unknown

Small reminder to always appreciate the beauty around us! Gives us Hope…Gives us Faith…Gives us Love! 🦋❤️

Nature Is God’s Art…Peace

So blessed and lucky we are to live on this incredible and magnificent planet! To always be surrounded, by God’s Beauty.

Large groups of thriving ecosystems. Living, breathing plants and animals. The constant flow of water. The beauty of it all can have such an astounding effect on ones soul. Quite captivating if I must say.

It begins the second you step outside, feeling the warmth of the sun hitting your face. Stopping, listening closely…the sounds of the birds singing, bees buzzing by, the barking of dogs near.  Seeing a storm roll in…when the smell of rain is so near. Listening to the low rumbles of thunder while the sky dances with lightning.  How beautiful it is to see that shimmer in the rain drops hanging from the tips of leaves. All if it…it makes you so aware. Aware of everything all at once. You feel so alive.  Being in present time…in the moment.

If we would just step outside and ask ourselves: “What do i smell right now? What do I hear? What am I feeling? What am I seeing?”, we would arrive in a wonderful moment of peace.

Why? How?

I can’t help but to think back to a day where, not so long ago, I stopped by my daughter’s after school care to make a payment. It was 2 o’clock in the afternoon. I didn’t have the new code to unlock the door, so I knocked. Nothing. Looking through the windows, I saw the teachers were not in their classrooms. I went around to every door of the building…all doors were locked. Even the entrance to the church office. Feeling frustrated and inconvenienced, still not able to enter, I walked back to my car and left. But, quickly, my frustrations turned to releif. Releif from knowing that had a crazed maniac tried to enter that school, they wouldn’t have been able to. My daughter would have been safe. The other children would have been safe. The teachers would have been safe. So I ask…HOW are these people able to enter these schools? Everyone’s focused on “why didn’t they do something before this”…”people knew he was capable of this”…”guns need to be banned”…”it’s the government’s fault”…”blah, blah, blah”…but why isn’t anyone asking “how”…”why”? HOW do these sick people get in to our schools in the first place? WHY aren’t all doors locked? WHY isn’t there more security for our children? It’s already happened one too many times before now, so WHY aren’t our schools, our teachers, our CHILDREN better protected? WHY aren’t we focused more on providing safety and security, but banning guns and blaming political parties instead? Laws aren’t going to change, at least not any time in the near future, so why not expand our energy to something we CAN do…like providing more security?

Co-parenting with Narcissists…

A narcissist is like a hog…but instead of destroying the crop…they destroy anyone and anything in their path. Leaving their targets left in complete and utter dismay.  They have this need for power…to be admired…a sense of entitlement. They can seem extremely charming and kind on the surface, but underneath their mask is nothing but pure evil. A complete and total lack of compassion for others’ feelings…even their own children’s.

“I’m in the driver seat now”…”I’m the boss”…”I’m in control”…3 statements that will never, ever be forgotten.  I suppose asking for a divorce because you’re unhappy was like setting off an atomic bomb…the start to a never ending war.

You compromise…you plead…you beg.  You humble yourself in ways you never imagined were possible. All you want, and long for, is an end…an end in order to start your new beginning.   But instead, you’re greeted with revenge…hate…retaliation…vengeance…retribution…spite.  You give everything that you are, and everything that you have, for the sake of your child.  Why?  Because divorce isn’t what they asked for.  They deserve, more than any, to be happy.  To not worry.  To have 2 parents who can push aside all of their emotions and get a long well enough for them.  Because, ultimately, the child is who matters most!!  They are loved!!!

2 years later, 50/50 shared visitation, and you’re still dealing with the same high conflict ex…except now, his wife has joined in this misery, making it even worse.  Every piece of court order has completely been dismissed. No communication can be made without first being insulted.  Everything you do, everything, is a constant battle…things as small as asking if she can wear a pair of khaki’s from his house.  Bad mouthing, alienating, refusing access to your child, retaining important information…it doesn’t stop.

You both love your child.  You both should want the very best for your child. But to a narcissist, they don’t care about the damage it causes…they only want to cause you emotional distress. He’ll find pure joy in your suffering and will do anything in his power to create it for you.  And, you’re just left there, searching for kind words…a way to explain to your daughter why her father hates you more than he loves her.  Having to play constant damage control.  You are both a part of your child. To hate the other parent is showing that you hate a part of your child.   The hardest thing you’ll ever have to do is watch her suffer…to have her ask you why, but yet, not have the answers.

Life sucks sometimes…work, marriage, divorce, friendships…just life in general.  But, having a narcissist as someone you have to co-parent with is absolutely excruciating!!  But from it, you become stronger.  You teach her to be stronger.  If you fail, you get up and try again.  Be grateful for the good things and appreciate the bad.  Teach her the importance of love. The importance of kindness.  The importance of compassion and humility.  The importance of gratitude.  With that, you teach yourself to be a better Mama!!!

Be the Light that Shines Love….don’t be the Hog that lives in Hate!!!

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